What an interesting day. I finally managed to convince (drag) someone to go to classes with me at the fancy-schmancy gym as I've been far too much of a chicken the past 5 months to go on my own. Boy, am I glad I waited? At least this way, we could look stupid together. And look stupid we did (I'm sure Corey would agree).
Ever tried Aerobics? Well, I have. Once before. When I was 14. Wasn't a fan then, and certainly isn't one now. But I'm getting ahead of myself. The first 30 minutes were fine. It was a Dance class (beginners' level, but ssshh!) and although the elderly ladies did the gangsta' style moves a hell of a lot smoother than either of us, we did OK I must say.
We felt good; we felt confident. So filled with this hype we ventured to Aerobics. My, oh, my. You know when you join a group of people who have been together fore-e-e-ver and you feel like a complete intruder? Yeah, that. Take that feeling times roughly ten thousand! This collection of sweatbanded, matching-tracksuit-pieces-wearing, and exceedingly experienced exercisers collectively stared us down as we walked in to the room. (I tried to blend in with my basketball outfit and long blonde braided pigtail but I think I can safely say I failed - miserably.)
I don't know if the instructor tried to discourage us but after the warm-up Corey and I looked at each other, both with that subtle shred of fear mixed with pain in our eyes. Up until then it had been bad enough, and we knew what was coming. Speed increase, step combination difficulty increase, and hand movements which I don't think is physically possible for a human brain to comprehend - let alone DO while moving the feet in a particular way simultaneously.
What did we learn from this little adventure then? Absolutely nothing, it seems. Tomorrow we're headed to a trial run of Zumba (if you live under a rock and have never heard of it - youtube, and enjoy our imminent torture)! In other words, another opportunity to look incredibly and unexcusably stupid!
Bring it on.
Jo x
Showing posts with label fail of the day. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fail of the day. Show all posts
2012/04/21
2012/04/13
fail of the day: tea-tastic!
In my lovely gym, fancy as it is, they sometimes have tastings of products they're selling. They sell all types of things - clothes, protein products, and other health-related stuff. Today was tea-time. As the utter teaoholic I am I could simply not resist trying the 'Healthy Detoc' (oh, Japan) tea on offer. The nice lady gave me a cup and started chatting me up, and she turned out to speak rather good English. Where are you from? Are you a student? - you get the picture.
Now, said tea was 2,600 yen for a packet. That's roughly £23, or 250 SEK. In other words, absolutely f*ing ridiculous. As the Japanese are so polite and indirect and so on, I wanted to turn the nice lady down in a similarly non-rude way. So I gave her the classic "I don't have money now - are you here all week?" speech.
Little did I know that the sly woman would not be so easily swayed. She offered to leave a packet in the reception with my name on it so I could pay next time I came - "are you coming tomorrow?"
To save myself I smiled and said I'd think about it - then rather literally ran away from the woman, whose exterior was smiling and beaming and thankful - but I swear I could hear the faint echo of an evil laugh worthy of any cartoon villain ever.
So it remains to be seen whether I've bought this 'super healthy' tea for a smaller fortune or not. I'm seriously thinking about skipping the gym session tomorrow simply because of this little incident. Of course, if she has left the packet in the reception there's no escaping it! Unless - unless! - I quit the gym altogether and re-register under a fake name. There's an idea...
Jo x
2011/12/16
fail of the day: face your flaws
New fail, people (curiously these always get the highest number of page viewings)! And this one is good, I tell you, real good. In other words, very very embarrassing.
So I've been going to the gym here for about 3 months now. The instructors are always polite and say welcome and goodbye (at least I assume that's what they're saying; it's all jibberijabberi to me) and so on. Lately I've been involved in private conversation with 2 of them - one girl, one guy. And by 'conversation' I'm not talking about deep contemplative discourses, but rather 'where are you from' and 'why did you come to Japan' level (I wish they would stop asking me the latter one - I don't know! Why not?).
Anyway, today I was sort of clutching/massaging/feeling up my knee during squats as it was a tad painful, and the guy came up saying jibberijabberi (which I interpreted as 'is your knee ok?' as he was pointing to his own knee while speaking - genius, aren't I?) so I took a chance and said (in Japanese, mind) 'yeah, no problem'. This is not the fail. Turns out I was right. Then he started jibberijabbering even more and I had to ashamedly confess I did not speak Japanese (again, in Japanese) and he sort of gave up, as they usually do. Then the guy in the bench press next to me came to my rescue and asked about something knee-related in English. So far, so good.
So I ventured into a conversation with this guy who I always, always see in the gym as we usually train at the same time, both hijacking the stationary bar machine. Secretly I've always found him excruciatingly annoying as he takes a-a-ages on it. Have to forgive him now I suppose. So we talked, and he told me he worked at the gym. And brace yourself, because here we go:
I honest to deity-of-your-choice cannot recall ever seeing him in the Central (gym name) shirt that the instructors wear. I admitted this fact to him, thinking maybe I've just never seen him. Turns out he works every Tuesday, Wednesday, and Sunday. And here's the best part: for the past 3 months I have been there more or less every single Tuesday, Wednesday, and Sunday. He said he's seen me many times. Oh. Dear. Deity. Then I got to use my Japanese skills again to apologise about a hundred times for not recognising him.
I must be suffering from face blindness or something, because that's just ridiculous. Then again I did think the PT and the instructor (who asked me about the knee) were the same person until I saw them in the gym at the same time, wearing different clothes a couple of weeks ago.
Jeez.
Jo x
So I've been going to the gym here for about 3 months now. The instructors are always polite and say welcome and goodbye (at least I assume that's what they're saying; it's all jibberijabberi to me) and so on. Lately I've been involved in private conversation with 2 of them - one girl, one guy. And by 'conversation' I'm not talking about deep contemplative discourses, but rather 'where are you from' and 'why did you come to Japan' level (I wish they would stop asking me the latter one - I don't know! Why not?).
Anyway, today I was sort of clutching/massaging/feeling up my knee during squats as it was a tad painful, and the guy came up saying jibberijabberi (which I interpreted as 'is your knee ok?' as he was pointing to his own knee while speaking - genius, aren't I?) so I took a chance and said (in Japanese, mind) 'yeah, no problem'. This is not the fail. Turns out I was right. Then he started jibberijabbering even more and I had to ashamedly confess I did not speak Japanese (again, in Japanese) and he sort of gave up, as they usually do. Then the guy in the bench press next to me came to my rescue and asked about something knee-related in English. So far, so good.
So I ventured into a conversation with this guy who I always, always see in the gym as we usually train at the same time, both hijacking the stationary bar machine. Secretly I've always found him excruciatingly annoying as he takes a-a-ages on it. Have to forgive him now I suppose. So we talked, and he told me he worked at the gym. And brace yourself, because here we go:
I must be suffering from face blindness or something, because that's just ridiculous. Then again I did think the PT and the instructor (who asked me about the knee) were the same person until I saw them in the gym at the same time, wearing different clothes a couple of weeks ago.
Jeez.
Jo x
2011/11/13
fail of the day: losing one's way
After a lazy Saturday + half a slothful (is that even a word?) Sunday I decided it was time to drag my sorry behind out in the real world and go for a run. As I already spend a lot of time at the gym and the weather was lush (20 degrees or so!) I thought I'd take it outside. I've done it before and I have a route of sorts that I usually go on, so I felt confident. Oh, dear, little did I know.
For I planned a short run, 30 minutes or so, as I tend to get quite bored. So off I went, following the river. With Eric Saade and Mr Saxobeat busting on top volume in my ears I jogged along without any major trouble. Then all of a sudden the river was gone. I have no idea how it happened. Somewhere, somehow, I took a wrong turn and I found myself basically lost. And rather than retracing my steps I decided to find my own way back. Bad, bad decision. After fifteen minutes or so I was further away from the river than ever, and a lot more lost than before. Again, rather than retracing my steps, or even asking someone, I continued on following my instinct. Bad, BAD, decision. Utterly lost, and the street signs did not even hint towards my area. They said Kawasaki and Motosumiyoshi, which are both about 10 minutes away by train!
Finally I managed to find the railway and luckily (!) a train just passed, heading towards Hiyoshi, my area. I had enough sense to follow the tracks and soon found myself in the centre of Motosumiyoshi - on the main shopping street! Remember this was Sunday afternoon/evening = lots of people, Christmas decorations and lights everywhere - and then me, sweaty, lost and getting quasi-desperate (and superblonde as I dyed my hair today...)! Not a splendid sight, or maybe amazingly splendid, I don't know.
Aanyway, long story short(-er), I ended up asking someone after having ventured on small dodgy streets in the dark (thank deity-of-your-choice that I'm in one of the safest countries in the world; UK/Sweden, and I would not be alive to tell the tale) and they pointed me in the right direction. My 30 minute run transformed into around 1 hour 40 minutes. Of course that includes me stopping and staring at maps, turning 360 degrees a couple of times, changing direction, running back and forth etc.
As a reward/comfort after this traumatic experience I went to Starbucks with a friend afterwards (photo stolen from her) for a nice large cup of coffee. I discovered they DO have the Gingerbread Latte! Come December, I shall have one of those bad boys. And/or a Chai Latte. Yes, veganism has been temporarily semi-abandoned.
Plans for the week are not particularly impressive: tutoring (getting the monetas!), studying (presentation and essays and kanji test), volleyballing (wiie!), gymming (yay?), and the beginning of Mita Fest - a huge school festival at Keio! They're expecting over 200,000 visitors during the week in which it takes place. Watch this space for full coverage.
Ta!
Jo x
For I planned a short run, 30 minutes or so, as I tend to get quite bored. So off I went, following the river. With Eric Saade and Mr Saxobeat busting on top volume in my ears I jogged along without any major trouble. Then all of a sudden the river was gone. I have no idea how it happened. Somewhere, somehow, I took a wrong turn and I found myself basically lost. And rather than retracing my steps I decided to find my own way back. Bad, bad decision. After fifteen minutes or so I was further away from the river than ever, and a lot more lost than before. Again, rather than retracing my steps, or even asking someone, I continued on following my instinct. Bad, BAD, decision. Utterly lost, and the street signs did not even hint towards my area. They said Kawasaki and Motosumiyoshi, which are both about 10 minutes away by train!
Finally I managed to find the railway and luckily (!) a train just passed, heading towards Hiyoshi, my area. I had enough sense to follow the tracks and soon found myself in the centre of Motosumiyoshi - on the main shopping street! Remember this was Sunday afternoon/evening = lots of people, Christmas decorations and lights everywhere - and then me, sweaty, lost and getting quasi-desperate (and superblonde as I dyed my hair today...)! Not a splendid sight, or maybe amazingly splendid, I don't know.
Aanyway, long story short(-er), I ended up asking someone after having ventured on small dodgy streets in the dark (thank deity-of-your-choice that I'm in one of the safest countries in the world; UK/Sweden, and I would not be alive to tell the tale) and they pointed me in the right direction. My 30 minute run transformed into around 1 hour 40 minutes. Of course that includes me stopping and staring at maps, turning 360 degrees a couple of times, changing direction, running back and forth etc.
As a reward/comfort after this traumatic experience I went to Starbucks with a friend afterwards (photo stolen from her) for a nice large cup of coffee. I discovered they DO have the Gingerbread Latte! Come December, I shall have one of those bad boys. And/or a Chai Latte. Yes, veganism has been temporarily semi-abandoned.
Plans for the week are not particularly impressive: tutoring (getting the monetas!), studying (presentation and essays and kanji test), volleyballing (wiie!), gymming (yay?), and the beginning of Mita Fest - a huge school festival at Keio! They're expecting over 200,000 visitors during the week in which it takes place. Watch this space for full coverage.
Ta!
Jo x
2011/10/07
Fail of the Day
Explored the other international café in Hiyoshi today - Tully's. Fresh out of Basic Japanese Conversation class where we practised how to talk about food, as ever full of confidence, I went in. Looked at their board with drinks (thankfully in English). Spotted a very interesting drink - Açai Soy Berry. Sounds rather self-explanatory but I wanted to know what it was so retrieved what I'd just done in class from my mind. Went up to the counter...
And said it perfectly. It's a very simple phrase, but still. So then - what's the fail?
Well, of course, as I asked in Japanese, the girl replied in Japanese. And not the slow kind, no. I doubt even locals can follow that. Yibberiyabberiyibberiyabberi was what I heard. All I could do was stand there, occasionally nod and say "aah, soo deska" (basically means "aah, ok.") and pretend I had even the faintest idea what she was on about.
Ultimately I decided it was simply a soy milk drink with açai berry and ordered it. Yummy indeed.
Jo x
And said it perfectly. It's a very simple phrase, but still. So then - what's the fail?
Well, of course, as I asked in Japanese, the girl replied in Japanese. And not the slow kind, no. I doubt even locals can follow that. Yibberiyabberiyibberiyabberi was what I heard. All I could do was stand there, occasionally nod and say "aah, soo deska" (basically means "aah, ok.") and pretend I had even the faintest idea what she was on about.
Ultimately I decided it was simply a soy milk drink with açai berry and ordered it. Yummy indeed.
Jo x
2011/09/27
a few things
In learning Katakana, I have mentioned before that some of them look similar to their Hiragana equivalent. Well, scratch that problem. Here's a new one for y'all. Consider the following symbols:
ツ シ ソ ン
You can clearly see there are four different ones, even if the difference is tiny. In fact, the only practical difference to these signs is the stroke order. Two of them you make the long line from up-down, and the other two down-up. Can you guess which one is which? I thought so. Now consider this: in print it's fine, you can clearly see the difference and learn which one is which. But have you ever had a friend, a colleague or a relative whose handwriting is completely illegible? I know I have a few. Of course everyone writes in their own individual style; some swirly, some straight, some more or less flowy. Now consider thus: these people (or even those with semi-legible handwriting) writing the characters above.
Conclusion: I'm screwed.
On a brighter (...?) note I can amuse you with my Fail of the Day (maybe a tag coming up here...) which occurred in my hunt for breakfast. There is a lesson to be learnt here, or in fact there are two:
1. Do not - I repeat, DO NOT - go adventuring in the supermarket without a Japanese speaking friend alongside.
2. Learn fricking Japanese, woman!
Anyway, I ventured to the supermarket and decided that I'd try a Westernised breakfast - soy milk and cereal. Just to try. So I got the soy milk (fairly simple as it had soy beans on the carton) and then continued to decide what cereal to get. Now, this sounds as though I had alleys and alleys of brands and kinds to choose from - no, there were two kinds. One which looked more or less like regular maize corn flakes, and then what you can see in the photo right. Brown ones. My mind immediately went to wholemeal, kind of All Bran type of cereal. And, as the health aspirant I am, I grabbed a bag, snorting a little towards the regular, unhealthy sugary stuff. Alas, I could not have been more wrong.
As I discovered this morning, once I excitedly had poured milk into a bowl and added cereal and put a spoonful in my mouth, - they're bloody chocolate cereal! Sugar rush is an understatement and I might have put on 2-3% fat in that first mouthful.
If there ever was a warning bell ringing, telling me I need to learn this language asap - this was it. Studying, I bend to thee.
Jo x
ツ シ ソ ン
You can clearly see there are four different ones, even if the difference is tiny. In fact, the only practical difference to these signs is the stroke order. Two of them you make the long line from up-down, and the other two down-up. Can you guess which one is which? I thought so. Now consider this: in print it's fine, you can clearly see the difference and learn which one is which. But have you ever had a friend, a colleague or a relative whose handwriting is completely illegible? I know I have a few. Of course everyone writes in their own individual style; some swirly, some straight, some more or less flowy. Now consider thus: these people (or even those with semi-legible handwriting) writing the characters above.
Conclusion: I'm screwed.
On a brighter (...?) note I can amuse you with my Fail of the Day (maybe a tag coming up here...) which occurred in my hunt for breakfast. There is a lesson to be learnt here, or in fact there are two:
1. Do not - I repeat, DO NOT - go adventuring in the supermarket without a Japanese speaking friend alongside.
2. Learn fricking Japanese, woman!
Anyway, I ventured to the supermarket and decided that I'd try a Westernised breakfast - soy milk and cereal. Just to try. So I got the soy milk (fairly simple as it had soy beans on the carton) and then continued to decide what cereal to get. Now, this sounds as though I had alleys and alleys of brands and kinds to choose from - no, there were two kinds. One which looked more or less like regular maize corn flakes, and then what you can see in the photo right. Brown ones. My mind immediately went to wholemeal, kind of All Bran type of cereal. And, as the health aspirant I am, I grabbed a bag, snorting a little towards the regular, unhealthy sugary stuff. Alas, I could not have been more wrong. As I discovered this morning, once I excitedly had poured milk into a bowl and added cereal and put a spoonful in my mouth, - they're bloody chocolate cereal! Sugar rush is an understatement and I might have put on 2-3% fat in that first mouthful.
If there ever was a warning bell ringing, telling me I need to learn this language asap - this was it. Studying, I bend to thee.
Jo x
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